Dick Tuck: A Democrat Apparatchik
written by Kevin Summers, August 2004
A Federal election is about to hit us & one can safely bet that it will be much the same as its predecessors. Po-faced commentators will intone that the campaign has failed to engage the important issues, pollsters will assume an importance beyond their worth, radio shock jocks will harangue their listeners that it's all too boring & leaders of the major parties will spend much of their time in carefully stage managed appearances.
So now is the time to invoke the memory of that great American political operator, Dick Tuck. A Democrat apparatchik whose campaigning imagination blighted Richard Nixon for over two decades, from the Californian Senate to the White House, Tuck employed flair & humour to make his points.
As a mole in the Republican Party, Tuck arranged for the young aspirant Nixon to speak in a 4000 seat university auditorium on a day when most students would be absent. Tuck made a long & boring speech of welcome, capping it off by asking Nixon to talk on issues he knew the candidate hadn't prepared. Nixon was forced to dissemble before fewer than fifty students.
In later years, Tuck would refine his strategies. He hired pregnant women to carry signs proclaiming "Nixon's the One!" to his campaign meetings. When Nixon addressed a mainly Chinese audience, he found out only later that the visible Mandarin signage he thought supported him & at which he waved enthusiastically actually listed his failures. Tuck informed bandleaders at rallies that Nixon's favourite song was "Mack the Knife" & it was often played to welcome the politician.
The best story concerning Tuck is his dressing as a train conductor & successfully signalling a train to leave as Nixon addressed a crowd from the rear carriage. There is some doubt about the veracity of the tale but it's so good one has to believe it. In fact, Tuck was so clever that Nixon formed his own group to emulate him. But not having the wit & style of Tuck, Nixon's men stooped to a dirty tricks campaign that culminated in a room of the Watergate Hotel. The rest, as they say, is history.
Is there a place for a Dick Tuck in Australian politics? In this age of deep cynicism, of personal attacks, of the fudging of truth, is there the possibility of an injection of a shrewd, inventive & humorous political strategy? Given the rigidity that now encompasses the words & actions of even the most humble candidate, it is difficult - but not impossible.
I attempted Tuck's methods during the long ruckus with Jeff Kennett over Albert Park & the Grand Prix. I discovered that a man in a bad suit holding a microphone could go almost anywhere. Jeff's doorstop interviews meant a media scrum surrounding the great man. One morning outside a commercial radio station a mike adorned with yellow ribbons (courtesy of Save Albert Park) emerged beside the Premier's right ear. It made for great television that evening, especially when a minder made furtive attempts to grab my wrist without disturbing his boss.
Surely in the coming weeks the Prime Minister might expect to be greeted by a visiting delegation from the American Polygraph Association - yes, there is such a body - at some stage of the campaign? & I'd like to see Mark Latham surrounded by burly, black garbed nightclub bouncers offering their support. Maybe with a nice placard or two in praise of direct action.
Nor should we forget John Anderson's services to Ansett during his tenure as Transport Minister. Doubtless his campaign would benefit by the adulation of Richard Branson's Virgin lovelies. A kiss & a cuddle for the handsome member for Gwydir before the cameras in the main street of Gunnedah would be a fitting image.
We need the Dick Tucks of this world to indicate to our elected officials that they cannot hide behind a phalanx of spinners, minders & image-makers, that the rush to conformity & premeditation serves only to further alienate constituents from the political process. They act in the same way as the slaves who whispered in the ears of the Roman Emperors to remember that they are mere mortals. They add reality - & if they can do that with a dose of humour then we shall all be the better for it.
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